Sunday, April 27, 2008

my mom once said that my ultimate problem in this world is friend. According to her observation, i always encounter problem either being incompatible with my friends, feeling lost and unwanted or solely follow what my friends ask me to do.... hurm what life anyway if its not this complicated (hong gil dong, 2008)... however, it is quite surprising to know that i am not invincible like i used to think and i have quite a number of friends who love me who notice everything that i do or lack of. they make me happy and drag me back on track when i go overboard. they dare tell me that i have pieces of chilli stuck between teeth so i won't embarrass myself further. i came to realize when my friend told me she miss me so dearly and actually remember what we did together in IPBA. she is not someone that share heart-2-heart stuff with me instead she always teased me back in ipba, she acts like she doesnt care, sometime acts like i really get on her nerves which left me clueless and feeling guilty. she love doing that... trust me... she enjoys doing that. i'm quite surprised when she wrote me an e-letter, pouring her feelings about me. this is what she wrote:

Nisrin,

Don’t be surprised… yes… you are on the list! Haha…..

I know we didn’t really have those ‘heart to heart’ thingy, but I have always enjoyed your company. I will never forget the times when we ate at Scud, going to Midvalley for movies and all the times we spent talking, although most of the things that we talked about revolved around DBSK, Super Junior, Big Bang and those other Korean artists.. haha… Thanks for sharing and constantly updating me…

P/S: I haven’t really wish you happy birthday for your birthday last year right? So, Happy Birthday! Hope you’re always fine in New Zealand!

sweet isn't it? that e-letter made me cry for more than 30 mins. eyes all red and i got eye-bags the next day. how dreadful hahaha..... i cry again when she claimed that i'm her anti-lonely/homesick agent... she even change her status and said that she miss me.... how sweet...and at that moment i know that i have friends that i can count on... same with zulee, my babe. Never once cross in my mind that she will call me and cried for 5 mins just to tell how dearly she miss me...and i was so happy that i suddenly clueless and don't know how to act...either cry or laugh or i dont know... there is no action or words that suitable to describe how i feel about them... they are beyond all the feelings that normal people usually have. saying i miss them seems so lowly and inadequate to describe it. owh not to forget tasneem mohammad poyer, the coolest senior in entire universe. she act as my mummy, she always remind me to study, to do my work and lots of other stuff that i should be remind of... lets just say she is my guardian angel hahahahah fake walmart mummy i do love u... you know that aite? i hope you and daddy will be happy all the time.... i pray for your happiness...... luv you guys heaps

Friday, April 25, 2008

today is.... hapless

when my sadness that is thin like a withered flower,
cannot fall asleep because of these tangled years,
i cling to the rough sigh
that would eat deep into my heart,
if i collected tears of a thousand years,
would it be enough to show my heart,
at the end of the sky
the sunset glow has left
today again i linger on...

as the frail sunshine of early dawn,
is woken up by its last night's dream,
my gloomy dreams of yesterday,
disappear into the legend
if i collected wishes of a thousand years
would it be enough to show my heart
at the end of the field
the sunshine has left
leaving me to linger on...

as the low wind wandering alone
loses its way
breathing hard
i ease my sorrow in this world
with the raindrops of noon
if i collected love of a thousand years
would it be enough to show my heart
at the end of the sky
the moonlight is sleeping
today, again i linger on...

if i collected longings of a thousand years
would it be enough to show my heart
at the end of the field
the rising sun is shining
today again i linger on

today, again i board on emotion roller coaster.... the urge to scream my heart out and crying and cursing is beating inside. still cant figure out whats wrong... somehow i will let it linger in me until i finish my assignment... i just realized that it help me to stay focus hehehe... plus i need my personal time to study as the exam timetable is already out... i have exam on 11 and 19 of June... do i still have time to study... hehehhe.... maybe i should let stay forever on that rollercoaster having my personal time... eating at seoul house, spazzing on heechul, being a couch potato..... will i able to excel in exam if i continue my life like this...i doubt that... like mr Kim Su Il said... "You ... terrible...terrible student! you work hard...read book dont waste money!" hahaha....
i miss my family, my babe (zulee), fake-mummy (tazzy), my best frens laney and aizat..., kae, hanin, adlina, mira, and of course fake daddy (kevin J. poyer)







Monday, April 21, 2008

owh yeah..korea!!

noori was so nice...... hurm i wonder.... will i be able to see kangin or heechul if i stay at her house... gosh i didn't know that she had a big link/cable with korean entertainment people....OMG.... i love you noori..you are so sweet....


she had already met DBSK face to face and she said all of them are so gorgeous

Saturday, April 19, 2008

while always looking at your shadow
i chase you from behind
with an absurd dream
chasing after a futile delusion
now..
im tired of it
im putting absolute fullstop
period...

time is ticking... tic toc

assignment... i dissed you!!!!

i havent started my assignment ... gosh... im freaking out right now...

darn,,, i should attempt the easy question... gah!! darn you pickledpossum and your craziness on koreans....

and...

dont you ever dare try to attempt question on sexuality and sinful....... you will be in asylum in no time honey.....

read my caps word DON'T TRY IT, YOU'LL DIE!!!

time is ticking.....tic toc babe!!!

what 9 degree? cheomal? really? gosh no wonder i'm cocooning in my precious duvet all day... today is superbly cold... i cant feel my legs...always numb... but i cant blame it all on the cold weather... it might be due to fat substances clogging my blood vessels... hahaha what ever it is i'm happily cocooning in my duvet.... what else should i rambling on... my mum called just now demanding me to send her a letter or else she will not send me the new handbag... it a bit burden if you ask me as its hard to put feelings into words... feelings are subjective and abstract. then, my babe call all the way from uk... how i miss her... we always hang out together... always understand each other... she always there when i need comfort... we always do stupid things together and later she will drag me back on the track hahaha and she will always be my babe forever... majimak ... yaksok!promise!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

unscratched compact disc

getting obsess with napoleon dynamite... and no honey! its not napoleon dynamite the movie for god sake!!!! it is actually a new band with my cupcake-look-a-like-face. at first i really dissed that group... totally dissed them especially the look-a-like guy. i blame him since he get to publish a punk rock and roll album when it supposed to be heechul's. however, after listening to few songs they are one hell great band... seriously I'm not kidding.... ( okay maybe its a little~~ unacceptable since they are unaware of grammar mistake in their mv) ROTFLOL HAHAHAHAHA... ok this post is soooooo darn shit...imgoing to edit it out

Sunday, April 13, 2008

crying out loud!!

hecx! i am deadly amusingly bored to death!!! currently experimenting with the layout and still cant used the one with heechul's banner. so i wrote another mushy2 poem... wish i have a real person to dedicate this poem to.... like what Shakespeare said in sonnet 18

"So long lives this and this gives life to thee."

so long people read my poem and like it...this poem will bloom forever. therefore, if no one is going to embrace this poem, in no time this poem will be lifeless! capeesh! kaboom! nada! hahahah....i dont care... im so going to post this poem here right now hahaha so emotional....look heechul, what have you done to me??? im going crazy again..... ok cut the crap ~^^~

get ready to embrace my poem!!!

the blue sky met a red glow, creating a purple heartache,
and...
although the room was decorated in black to erase the memories...
i can't seem to erase the tears of regret
that i shed while looking upon that person

so that i wont show him my tears
so that he won't feel my lips tremble, trying to say "I love You"...

so that we won't part in this way

so that this sorrow-filled night continues on

..........that is what i yearn for...




pickledpossumfaintsduetolotsofpressure

owh my god!!! what happen to him?? what freaking happening to him? have he lost his mind going around like that looking deranged and messy....????? but im melting right now....for once he look so different... no longer beautiful...just plainly, messily handsome creature.... its not a sin right for me to indulge myself with such a beautiful creature? everyone have their own craziness and mine is him................................................


counting my money and days...... sigh....when am i going to go there...????

today is depressed

this is a tribute to me who failed to upload heechul's layout

black rain is falling
blue flower petals are fluttering
on the pure white river you appear
the darkness protects all things
my tears covers the fatigue
to the angel that killed you
i will whisper i love you...


(is your mother a baker? coz you are such a fine cupcakes with frothing icing)


red devilish me

its late and im awake... LOL such lame way to start my first blog post.... what should i write then? How about what i did today... aside from watching dvds and online, of course.

today, i'm a bit depressed as I cant change the layout ... found one layout (with cheesy heechul's banner) but cant use it for some reason that i don even know... ##^%^^#@@$^&&*. anyway i went out with bunch of friends (didnt know them coz im just following N), eating at one fine Taiwanese eateries, lepakking and stuff. I guess my mum will be satisfied with this so call progress in my life) hahaha... then we went to mt Victoria...what a freaking beautiful scenery... what a shame i didn't bring my cammie with me.... sigh!..... however, im still madly happy on what happen last saturday night... koreans...just love them.... hahahha im crazzy aite~^^